


It's My Party, and I'll Lock Myself in the Closet and Take Selfies if I Want to

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Parties, drunk and disorderly behavior, equius being ooc a bit idk??, fuck i don't know anymore., possible humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 11:51:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2149722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Equius is throwing a party, but something - er, someone - else is on his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's My Party, and I'll Lock Myself in the Closet and Take Selfies if I Want to

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ab2fsycho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ab2fsycho/gifts).



Equius had mixed feelings about parties. They could be tons of fun every once in a while, but he was always afraid someone was going to knock something over or spill something and that cleaning it up would be such a hassle in the morning - assuming he lets it wait that long. Nepeta is already drunk after just one glass of wine, hanging on to him and giggling as she tries to keep up some sort of ridiculous conversation with Tavros about Shark Week. He must be a little buzzed too - his stammering is completely gone, but he’s wobbling a bit and blushing pretty heavily. 

Equius holds the cup to his lips and watches Gamzee, across the room, attempting to chug a beer while standing on his head. Equius is pretty sure that Gamzee’s doing this trick for Terezi, despite the fact that she’s blind. But Karkat, who’s got an arm thrown around her shoulders, seems to be enjoying it for her. There’s a snort, and the clown falls over, choking. Terezi cackles loudly as Karkat goes to help him up. He looks up to see Equius looking over their way. Too late, Equius remembers that Karkat can’t actually tell where he’s looking and gives him a nervous wave. Karkat scowls in his direction.

 _He won’t think I’m checking him out_ , Equius assures himself. All the same, he’d rather not have the whole damn group know about his forbidden little crush. It’s bad enough Nepeta knows. She’s pretty shit at keeping secrets these days, and it doesn’t help that she’s drunk off her rocker. 

Speaking of, Equius’s left arm has been feeling a little lighter. He looks down to see that Nepeta has left his side. He hears a hiccup-laden giggle and looks to the couch to see Nepeta curled in Tavros’s lap, their lips locked together. Vriska’s glaring at the two, momentarily knocked from her conversation with John.

 _Gog, this is going to be a nightmare_ , Equius thinks. He’s preparing to push himself from the counter and intervene when a voice snaps at him, “What the fuck were you looking at you muscle-headed freak?”

If there’s one comfort Equius takes, it’s that Karkat hates parties as much as he does. Even more so, actually. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t looking at you. Or Terezi,” he adds, in an after thought. Because that’s actually probably what Karkat’s afraid of. 

"Then what -" Karkat stops and looks behind him, to where Terezi and Gamzee are arguing. Equius makes the mistake of follow Karkat’s gaze and letting it linger on the second party. "Fuck."

"Yeah," Equius can feel himself start to sweat. But if anyone’s going to know…

"Do you want me to say something?"

Equius chokes on his drink, spitting it everywhere. Karkat growls as the liquid hits his hand, and he tries to shake it off. “NO, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES -“

"Okay, whatever," clearly Karkat isn’t listening. Not that Equius can really blame him - TZ and Gamzee’s argument is about to come to blows. Even Vriska’s obsessive watch over Nepeta and Tavros is disturbed by the sound of a vase breaking. Equius winces. "Jegus," Karkat snaps. "You’re both so fucking stupid!"

Equius can’t tell whether the “both” is Gamzee and Terezi, or Gamzee and Equius himself.

* * *

 

He’s not sure where everybody’s clothes went, but nearly everyone is passed out in their underwear by the end of the party. The only exception is Rose, who’s still awake because she seems to actually know how to hold her poison. She nods once to Equius before going back to her book, petting Kanaya’s head where it lays in her lap. 

Karkat and Terezi are passed out on the couch, Tavros and Nepeta on the rug in front of the fireplace. He can hear retching sounds from upstairs, and he’s willing to wager that it’s Vriska - possibly with John’s help to hold back her hair. Dave and Jade are crashed at the kitchen table, cups of coffee between them. Jade seems to be wearing Dave’s sunglasses, and Equius honestly wonders how she managed to do that without being horribly massacred by the red-clad friend. Eridan and Aradia both opted to crash upstairs, Sollux is asleep at the computer with Feferi’s goggles covering his eyes, and Feferi is curled up on a recliner, puckering her mouth like a fish. 

Equius bites his lip. He’s pretty sure that if he woke her up, Feferi would offer to help him clean up. Jade and John probably would, too, but Jade will probably have an awful hangover, he doesn’t want to face Vriska and he really needs to locate a camera before he disturbs the sleeping fish. So he shrugs, deciding to at least clean up the broken vase on his own.

It doesn’t occur to him until almost all the pieces are in the trash can that he still has no idea where Gamzee went. He hears a honk, followed by a snap like a camera going off.  _What the hell is he -_  

There’s a ring from the phone in Equius’s pocket. He knows it must be Gamzee, there’s no one else compitent enough at the moment to work the buttons on a phone. Nonetheless - or because perhaps because of this - Equius is a little afraid to look at the multimedia message he’s been sent. 

The message comes first: “ChEcK oUt ThEsE rAd MoThEr-HoNkErS yO!” The picture is next: Gamzee’s bare abs.

Equius chokes on his spit and drops the dustpan in his hand. The shards clink on the ground, but the only person to rustle is Nepeta. With bleary eyes she looks up at her moirail, and points. “Closet,” she mumbles, before nuzzling Tavros and going back to her snoring.

Equius smiles, throwing a spare blanket over the two. Let the rest of them be embarrassed as fuck in the morning. He owes this to her.


End file.
